Beautiful Disaster
by Neverland-Gleek-Lost-In-Oz
Summary: "Is that what you think? That I just ruin people? That that's all I'm good for? I love him! How could you take that away from me? The one person I love more than anything in this world..." This idea came from the movie "Crazy Beautiful" if it isn't obvious from the quote. Skank(sortof)!Blaine. AU!Klaine. The title is from Kelly Clarkson's song "Beautiful Disaster."
1. Something In The Way You Move

Chapter 1: Something in the way you move

* * *

Blaine jogged through the halls, hurrying towards the back exit of the school. He ignored the weird looks and just about everyone he passed. He couldn't seem to get through the crowd fast enough and his tears were already breaking through his usually tough barriers.

_Don't let them see you cry, Blaine. _

"Anderson…" He ignored Quinn's worried glance as he plopped down on one of the old sofas under the bleachers. "Blaine, what's wrong?"

Blaine looked at her suddenly, startled. She never called him by his first name. But he quickly recovered and scowled at her. "Leave me alone, Q. It's none of your business, and you shouldn't care anyway."

"We stick together, remember?" the girl reminded him, her blonde and pink hair falling in her face as she sat beside him. "Since Sheila moved, it's just the two of us."

"You shouldn't care about me," Blaine snapped. "Nobody else does. My dad knows and you know it; I'm a disaster. I destroy everything in my life and you… you're too good for that, Quinn," he finished, barely keeping the vulnerability out of his voice.

"Blaine, you're not a disaster. Look, I messed stuff up with Beth but I still—"

"I'm not you!" Blaine snapped again. "And stop pretending your life sucks when at least your mom still holds you when you cry." His voice cracked noticeably and he curled in on himself, shutting his eyes.

"Blaine…"

"Forget it," he shook his head, standing up and storming away. He didn't go back inside the school building, instead going around and towards his car.

He ran his hands through his black-and-blue-streaked curls once he'd sat down in his car. He felt pathetic for acting this way when he thought he'd gotten over the loss years ago, but there was something about the way David had talked about his mom that made Blaine's mind melt into a fuzzy, emotional mess.

_"I'm sure she killed herself just to get away from you," Karofsky had sneered at Blaine, shoving the smaller boy against the lockers in the boys' locker room. _

Blaine shuddered at the memory of the words, unable to think about the rest of what his tormentor had said. Ordinarily, the jocks didn't mess with him because he was with Quinn as a part of the 'Skanks.' But today had been different, apparently.

Blaine's phone rang, making him jump, and he looked at it to se it was his father. He frowned and picked it up, wiping his eyes as he did so. "Dad?"

"Hey, Blaine. I assume you're on your lunch break so I thought I'd call. I wanted to make sure you knew to be at Sariah's dance recital tonight at five. We'll meet you there."

"Right," Blaine said monotonously. He hated the way his father talked 'business' with him, like Blaine was just another client he didn't care for in the slightest. "I'll be there. Thanks, dad." He hung up, not waiting for his father to do it first.

He sighed deeply, shoving his phone in the glove box and starting the car with shaky hands. He drove away, not even sure where he was going, though he guessed he might head towards Westerville to visit his mom.

About ten minutes into the drive, Blaine's car died and he cursed loudly, knowing that no one could hear him. He got out of the car, kicking the side of the door angrily. He was so involved in beating up his piece-of-crap car that he didn't even realize someone had parked their car right behind his on the otherwise deserted road.

"Run out of gas or what?" asked a boy about his age as he got out of his own car and walked towards Blaine.

"I can handle it," Blaine lied stubbornly. "Just keep driving and don't worry about me. It's not safe to stop for a stranger, anyway," he grumbled, ignoring the boy as he opened his car hood. He examined the engine and sighed; he had no idea what he was doing.

"I can help," the stranger said. "I work at a garage with my dad. And as for being a stranger, something tells me you won't hurt me."

"Is it my piercings or my slut appearance?" Blaine asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He reached for a wire, clueless, wincing when it shocked him.

"You don't look like a slut," the boy shrugged. "And I'm not easy to scare," he added.

"Whatever," Blaine waved him off. "Well, are you gonna help me or not?"

He saw the boy bounce triumphantly on his toes before walking over to take Blaine's place in front of the car. He squinted at the engine for a moment before nodding and looking at Blaine. "Overheated. How long have you been driving?"

Blaine looked on in confusion. "Like, ten minutes."

"Huh."

"What's your name?" Blaine blurted.

"Kurt," the boy smiled, turning to look at Blaine. Blaine met his eyes tentatively. "And yours?"

"Blaine," he answered, cracking a smile for the first time since he'd left for school that morning. "Nice to meet you, Kurt…"

"The same to you," Kurt returned, smiling still.

"So can you fix it?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"I can have it done in just a few minutes," Kurt nodded. "Just sit tight."

"Thanks," Blaine murmured, stepping aside and watching Kurt work. He fiddled with the engine for a few moments before standing up and facing Blaine with a bright smile.

"It should be fine now. Just let it sit for ten or fifteen minutes or so, and don't leave the car on while you wait."

"How much do I owe you?"

"What?"

"How much do I owe you?" Blaine repeated, matching Kurt's confused expression. Then Kurt's eyes lit up in understanding and he shook his head, laughing.

"Oh! Don't worry about it. It was nothing."

"But I—"

"Shush," Kurt stopped him, laughing softly again. Blaine felt a strange feeling in his chest when he heard Kurt's playful laugh. He didn't know what the feeling was, but he did know that he wanted Kurt to do that again. He wanted to make Kurt laugh. "Don't worry about it," Kurt continued. "Hey… uh, why don't I stay and wait with you until your car is ready to go? You know, so you won't be so bored…"

"Why?" he asked, stepping back and wrapping his arms around his waist apprehensively. He studied Kurt's features doubtfully.

"Well, I don't want to leave you alone. I just want to make sure your car is running smoothly," he shrugged, smiling.

"I'm eighteen. I can handle myself," Blaine told him defensively.

"Do you have anyone you can call?"

"No one," Blaine whispered, his hands shaking slightly.

Kurt frowned, and Blaine winced a little. He didn't like being the cause of Kurt's frown. "Blaine… C'mon, just let me stay for a bit. I'm not in a rush."

"Do whatever you want—I don't care." Blaine grumbled and turned to go sit in his car. He ignored it when the passenger door opened and Kurt climbed in to sit in the set beside him. He ignored it when Kurt started talking to him.

"I don't understand why you're being so cold," Kurt told him, though he didn't sound annoyed or angry in the least. "This'll be a lot easier if you just talk to me."

"Where are you going?"

"Excuse me?"

"Where were you heading before you stopped to help me?" Blaine clarified.

"Where in Westerville?" he continued, not taking his eyes off of the stilled steering wheel.

"The cemetery," Kurt murmured, his voice suddenly strained. "What about you?" he cleared his throat.

"Same," Blaine whispered, looking at Kurt with a frown. "Why?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Kurt started, still not sounding angry at Blaine, "but I'm going to visit my mom. She passed away six years ago."

"Kurt's eyes widened a little and he stared at Kurt. He wasn't sure why a complete stranger was telling him all of this, but he suddenly felt like he owed Kurt something. A secret in return.

He hated owing people.

"I was just going to visit my mom, too," he whispered, shocked. "She… um… passed away ten years ago." Blaine didn't want to mention the suicide of it all.

"Oh," Kurt reiterated, his lips slightly parted as he looked at his lap. He didn't spare Blaine a glance as he let out a wry laugh, shaking his head. "Funny how small the world is, I guess. I don't know why I even told you that, but… I don't know. I don't really have anyone else who'd listen."

"And I listen?" Blaine asked with a timid smile and a cracked laugh. "I've been a bit of a brat."

"It's fine," Kurt shrugged, finally looking at Blaine. "So your car should be ready to go," he said after a few moments of staring at each other in silence. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah," Blaine nodded, finally remembering to slip into his tough exterior layer. He sat up straighter in his seat, going stiff and clutching the steering wheel. "I guess it's goodbye."

"It was nice to meet you, Blaine."

"Yeah, sure," Blaine responded flatly, starting the car with a satisfying hum and grown of the engine.

"Okay," Kurt frowned, slowly getting out of the car. He stood outside, holding the door open and peering inside. "What happened to smiling Blaine?" he asked, sounding so disappointed that Blaine wanted to cry.

"He doesn't exist," Blaine whispered, not meeting Kurt's eyes.

He heard Kurt sigh before closing the door and walking back to his own car. Blaine slouched again in his seat, letting out a shuddering breath. It had not been a good day—far from it. He hoped that talking to his mom would help.

He drove to the cemetery, which was about a half hour away, and got out of his car, walking to his mother's grave. He knelt in the green grass in front of the engraved stone and started crying instantly.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring flowers this time, mama," he cried. "I didn't know I'd be coming today, but I just really needed to talk to you." He took a calming breath so he could speak. "I love you. I miss you. And even though I don't remember much about you, and dad doesn't talk about you, I wish you were here. I wish you hadn't left me," he finished with a sob that escaped his throat unwarranted.

"Blaine…"

Blaine yelped and looked behind him to see Kurt standing there with a single white rose. He offered it to Blaine but the kneeling boy scowled and shook his head. "Go away. I don't need you here anymore."

"I understand," he said simply, his voice soft. Blaine froze, catching Kurt's eyes and letting the soothing sound of his voice calm him. "I'm here if you need to talk or anything at all. Or if you want a friend. Or anything. I'm right here."

"Can you hug me…?" Blaine asked, his voice shaking. Kurt smiled sadly and nodded, kneeling beside Blaine and wrapping his arm around the shivering boy.

"It's October," Kurt murmured into Blaine's blue-streaked hair. "Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"

"I don't have one," Blaine shrugged. He leant against Kurt, smiling faintly and hugging Kurt's arm. "You're warm…" he hummed.

"Do you want my jacket?" Kurt asked quietly. Blaine shook his head silently. "Why not?"

"Then you'll be cold," Blaine explained, nuzzling in closer to Kurt's side.

Kurt looked down at the boy in his arms, slightly confused. But mostly, he was just concerned. "Blaine… why aren't you in school?"

"I had to come see my mom," Blaine whispered, not sure why he was suddenly willing to tell Kurt everything. But for the first time since his mom had died, he felt safe. "Why aren't _you _in school?" he returned cautiously, avoiding the question.

"I don't have classes today."

"What school do you go to? I've never seen you around…"

"I got to OSU," Kurt said, rubbing Blaine's back in an attempt to warm him up.

Blaine winced, shaking his head. His mind filled with all kinds of thoughts of holding Kurt back and ruining Kurt just like he ruined everything and everyone else in his life. "C-College?"

"Yeah," Kurt shrugged. "I'm taking some classes here before I go to New York in the spring."

Blaine backed away suddenly, shaking his head again. "I have to go. I-I should get back to school. I'm sorry…"

Kurt moved towards him, frowning in concern. "Blaine, what's wrong? I don't—"

"I have to go, Kurt," he repeated, standing up and walking quickly back to his car.

"Blaine, wait!" Kurt called, but Blaine ignored him and got in his car, speeding away. Kurt cursed under his breath, knowing that Blaine shouldn't be driving when he was so upset. He dashed to his own car and followed Blaine, making sure the boy couldn't see him. "Blaine, where are you going?" he whispered to himself.

After a few minutes of driving, he saw Blaine's car on the side of the road, with Blaine sitting in the driver's seat. He was shivering and his shoulders were shaking with what Kurt guessed were sobs.

Kurt frowned and got out of the car once he was parked behind Blaine. He knocked on Blaine's window and felt his heart ache when Blaine jumped in fright. He watched as Blaine looked at him and slowly relaxed. "Open the door?" Kurt mouthed. Blaine nodded and unlocked the car so Kurt could climb in the passenger side. "Why'd you run off?" Kurt asked once he'd sat down and closed the door behind him.

"I'm afraid," Blaine admitted in a whisper. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do but I know that I'm not supposed to ruin your life with my destructive behavior…"

"Can I be honest? Kurt asked softly, reaching across the console to grasp Blaine's hand. He smiled slightly when Blaine didn't pull away, nodding without looking at Kurt. "I think what you're supposed to do is let somebody care about you."

"The only person who ever cared about me killed herself," Blaine blurted in frustration. "So why should I let people in when it only hurts them and leave me all alone?"

Kurt frowned, surprised by the fact that Blaine's mother had apparently killed herself. "Blaine… I won't do that, okay? I won't abandon you."

Blaine flinched. "Why do you care, anyway? You don't even know me."

"But I'd like to," Kurt said gently. "I want to get to know you, if you'll give me a chance. I care because, in some ways, I know how you feel. I know what it's like to live without your mom, and I can tell there's more to you than just that, but I think I can help. But you need to trust me in order for me to do that."

"I…" Blaine finally looked up, tears in his eyes. "I'm just scared," he repeated.

"I know," Kurt said, squeezing Blaine's hand. "Can I drive you home? You shouldn't be alone."

"But your car is still here—"

"I work at a garage. I can pick it up with a tow truck," Kurt explained. "Please just let me help you?"

Blaine struggled to find his words for a moment before he finally gulped and nodded. "Y-Yeah. Yes, uh, do you want to drive?"

Kurt smiled and nodded. "Okay. Switch me spots and we can go." They climbed out of the car and switched seats, and Kurt asked once they were ready to go, "Where do you live?"

"Lima," Blaine answered.

Kurt looked over in slight surprise. "I live in Lima. I wonder why we've never seen each other."

"I moved there from Westerville in sophomore year," Blaine shrugged, looking at his hands as Kurt started the car. "Before that I went to Dalton Academy."

"What High School do you go to now?"

"McKinley, why?"

"It really is a small world. I used to go there but I transferred in the middle of my sophomore year because things got bad and I went to Dalton."

Blaine looked at him in shock. "Wow… So we really just missed each other by a little bit…"

"Yeah," Kurt acknowledged in slight shock as he drove towards Lima. "So where in Lima do you live?"

Blaine looked at his hands again, once again hesitant to continue telling Kurt too much about himself. But he was just answering questions. That shouldn't be too hard, right?

"Near the Lima Bean. Do you know where that is?"

"Oh, I love that place," Kurt grinned. "In fact, I go there every morning."

"If you live in Lima, how did you go to Dalton? It's a bit of a drive…"

"I boarded at the school," Kurt told him. Blaine nodded and waited for Kurt to continue. "I live with my dad and stepmom for now."

"Oh…" They were silent for the next few minutes before Kurt spoke again.

"What made you skip school before you decided to go visit your mom?"

"How do you know she wasn't the reason I ditched?"

"Because I used to do exactly what you did when I was having a hard day at school," he said. "Before I transferred to Dalton, I was bullied so I caught a bus to Westerville to see her. She always said she wanted to be buried in Westerville because it's so much nicer than Lima, so it was a long trip but it was worth it."

"This bully… David Karofsky—he said that my mom killed herself because of me…" Blaine trailed off, glancing at Kurt. Kurt's fists tightened around the steering wheel and he gritted his teeth angrily at hearing Blaine's words. Or rather, Blaine's bully's words. "I-I'm sorry," Blaine stammered suddenly, panicking. "P-Please… Don't be mad. I didn't mean to make you mad—I… I'm sorry…"

"Blaine," Kurt stopped him, glancing over and seeing heartbreaking tears in the boy's eyes. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the guy who hurts you."

"O-Oh…" Blaine shrunk down in his seat in embarrassment, but he had visibly relaxed. "It's fine, really… I can handle him. He's a dimwit, anyway." He smiled slightly.

Kurt laughed softly as they passed the _Welcome To Lima _sign. "Aren't they all?"

"I suppose so," Blaine nodded, finally cracking a more genuine smile.

They drove in silence until they reached the Lima bean. Kurt parked the car and turned in his seat to look at Blaine. "Judging by the fact that you've been growing increasingly tense and anxious the closer we get to your house, something tells me you don't want to go home."

"I do—"

"You can come to my house, if you'd like. No one's home today."

"Can I?" he asked, a little too eager. He looked at Kurt with almost pleading eyes.

"Of course," Kurt smiled. "Ready to go?" he asked. Blaine nodded and they spent the next five minutes driving to Kurt's house.

"A-Are you sure I should be here?" Blaine asked nervously, taking a quick look around the room once they entered the living room.

"Stop worrying so much," Kurt urged with a smile, taking hold of Blaine's hands and squeezing them gently. "Have a seat and I'll make you some lunch."

"I'm not hungry," Blaine lied.

"Don't be silly. I'm sure you haven't even eaten today."

"How—"

"How do I know? Because you're as pale as a ghost and you can barely stand, which leads me to think that you've skipped more than just breakfast."

Blaine deflated, giving up his façade for a moment. "I don't do it on purpose," he said. "I just can't eat… It makes my stomach feel funny."

"Will you try?" he asked, earning a doubtful look from Blaine. "Please? For me?"

Blaine sighed in defeat and nodded a little. "I'll try…"

"That's all I'm asking," Kurt affirmed with a soft smile. Blaine didn't say anything else as he sat on the sofa and watched Kurt get him some food. He felt his stomach do a somersault when he saw Kurt making a turkey and cheese on wheat sandwich.

"Kurt," he called into the kitchen, "I think I'm just going to take a nap… I don't feel well." Kurt turned to him and walked over to the couch, giving Blaine a blanket.

"Get some rest. You can eat when you wake up." They both smiled and Blaine nodded gratefully, lying down. He drifted off peacefully.

Well, mostly peacefully. His dream started out by showing him images and scenes of Kurt. Kurt's smile and his laugh; his tears and his loving nature.

It shoed Kurt holding him, keeping him warm and protected. Blaine had never felt more at home or safe; not since his mother died.

But then his dream turned into a nightmare and he panicked, wanting to wake up.

He saw Kurt's face, but it was angry. It well telling him to leave and he just couldn't handle Kurt yelling at him like that.

As Blaine woke up, he realized one thing: he didn't know how to survive without Kurt now that he'd met him. He didn't know how to feel loved or happy; it had become foreign to him over time. He didn't know what it meant to be happy anymore, but Kurt had taught him as much as one could learn in the short time they'd known each other.

Blaine didn't even realize he'd awoken in tears until he found himself in Kurt's arms, crying into the boy's shirt. "You'll never leave me, right?" he stuttered through his sobs, barely intelligible.

"Of course not," Kurt soothed. He wasn't sure this breakdown had come from but that didn't seem to matter at the moment. All that mattered was calming Blaine and soothing him, making sure Blaine knew everything was going to be okay. "Shh…" he whispered gently, listening as Blaine's cries slowly subsided to sniffles and occasional whimpers. "Do you want to tell me what you dreamt about?"

"No," Blaine croaked. "Just don't send me away… Don't make me leave you..."

"Hush… Hush, it's okay," Kurt reassured him as he started breathing raggedly again. "You don't have to tell me. And you certainly don't have to leave."

"Okay…" Blaine nodded, clutching at Kurt's shirt. "I'm sorry I got your shirt wet…"

"Don't worry," Kurt brushed it off, rubbing Blaine's back. "Do you want to eat now?"

"No. Can we just rest for a bit? And will you keep holding me?"

"Sure," Kurt said, smiling softly and pulling Blaine a little closer. Blaine smiled and nestled into Kurt's embrace, shivering slightly. "Are you cold?"

"I'm fine."

"But you're shivering."

"I-I don't want to make you get up and get a jacket or anything…"

"It's no trouble," Kurt promised.

"But I don't want you to leave," Blaine whispered, shaking his head and hugging Kurt's waist.

"Okay," Kurt murmured. He reached as well as he could to the chair next to the couch they were on and grabbed a small blanket from there. "Lay down, okay? Just relax." Blaine nodded a little and shifted so his head was resting on Kurt's lap. Kurt spread the light blanket over Blaine and smiled when Blaine fell asleep only seconds later. He was exhausted.

Now that Blaine was asleep, though, Kurt allowed himself to start _wondering. _

* * *

**A/N: I know this might be a crappy chapter ending, but I'll have the next chapter out soon because I'm obsessed with this idea now and I want to hurry and write it. Also, I finally have my Word Processor back so I'm itching to write a whole bunch. It isn't working on my laptop, so I have to use the family one, which means I won't always have access and I'm gonna take advantage of the time I do have to write. **

**Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I know their relationship is moving a little fast and Blaine is pretty back and forth, but there are reasons for that. Blaine feels ****_safe, _****which makes him want to trust Kurt. And Kurt is curious and a little protective over Blaine, which makes him want to learn more about him and try to help him. As for Blaine's thoughts and actions, he's just a little confused and he has no idea what he's doing, so he goes back and forth. More will be explained later. **

**Review! :)**

**Love you, my lovelies. **


	2. Safe And Sound

Chapter 2: Safe and sound

* * *

Kurt looked down at the beautiful boy in his arms, wondering just what it was that was hurting Blaine so badly; wondering why he was smiling and talking to Kurt one moment and shutting Kurt out completely the next. It broke his heart to see someone so sweet running himself into a downward spiral of self-destruction.

But even more heartbreaking than that, even more so than the way he flinched at the slightest of triggers, was that he didn't have anyone. As far as Kurt could tell, he had no one to help him through any of it. He was all alone.

Well, not anymore. Kurt fully intended to change that. He didn't plan on leaving Blaine behind or hurting him in anyway; all he wanted was to make Blaine happy. He'd seen a glimpse of Blaine's true smile, and he had a feeling that was as close to happy Blaine had been in the past ten years. Kurt vowed that he would do his best to make Blaine smile for real someday. There was just something about Blaine that made him want to drop everything and put all his energy into making Blaine happy.

Blaine stirred slightly and his face screwed up in discomfort as he clung to Kurt. Kurt frowned sadly and rubbed Blaine's back, holding him closer and kissing his hair. "Shh… Blaine, I've got you. You're safe…"

Blaine whimpered in his sleep and tensed uncomfortably before his eyes snapped open and he let out a choked breath, looking at Kurt. "K-Kurt," he choked; his eyes were wide with surprise. "You're still here… I-I'm still here." Then his face turned to horror and he seemed to realize something. "What time is it?"

"Hey, calm down," Kurt said gently, running his fingers through the side of Blaine's hair. Blaine relaxed into the action but his eyes remained panicked. "It's five-thirty. You took quite a long nap, and you seemed exhausted so I didn't want to wake you."

"I-I have to be at my sister's recital, like, an hour ago," Blaine panicked, sitting up and nearly falling off the couch. "My dad said to meet him and my step-mom there at five and I'm late. I'm going to be in so much trouble. I-I have to go…" he trailed off, pausing. "…but I don't want to leave," he finished pitifully.

"Do you want me to come with you? Maybe if I explain that it was my fault you were late, you won't be in as much trouble," Kurt reasoned, sitting up and rubbing Blaine's shoulders to calm him down.

"Would you?" he asked, startled and seemingly shocked that anyone would help him like that. Kurt smiled sadly and nodded, standing up and offering his hand to Blaine.

"I'll lend you my coat, because it really is cold. And I'll explain that it wasn't your fault for being late. I'm sure your father will understand."

Blaine nodded a bit doubtfully, taking Kurt's hand and standing up. "Maybe…"

Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine's cheek before going to grab jackets for the both of them.

Blaine stood there, wide-eyed and frozen. He shakily put his hand up to touch his fingertips to his cheek where Kurt had just kissed him.

He felt an odd sensation in his stomach, almost like he was going to be sick. He didn't know what to do, and he didn't want Kurt to see him if he did indeed throw up, so he dashed out the front door and out to the front lawn. He tripped and fell to his knees in a puddle on the edge of the sidewalk, hissing in pain when he hit the hard ground.

The feeling in his stomach hadn't gone away, and Blaine just wanted it to happen already if he was going to throw up. He'd rather not make it last. So he started forcing himself to dry-heave, and nothing came up. Probably because there wasn't anything in his stomach. He kept forcing his gag reflex to react until he was so exhausted that he keeled over into a fetal position, breathless gasps and sobs escaping him.

_You're pathetic, _he told himself.

He felt awful. The feeling in his stomach was gone, which he was grateful for. He didn't know what that feeling was, exactly, but he'd assumed he was just a little queasy.

He didn't even give a thought to the fact that it could be—and was—the fluttering of metaphorical butterflies in his stomach. His body's reaction to Kurt kissing his cheek had confused him and he'd mistaken it for being ill.

"Blaine?" Kurt called from the front porch, looking around in the dim light of the evening until he saw Blaine. "Blaine!" He ran forward, nearly tripping as he did so, and crouched down beside the boy, rubbing his back and trying to get him to look up. "Blaine, what's wrong? What happened? Please talk to me…"

"I-I felt sick… N-Now I just feel like I'm going to pass out. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning and I-I think I should…"

"Were you trying to throw up?" Kurt asked cautiously. Blaine nodded as more tears dribbled down his cheeks and hit his knees. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and pulled him close. "Come on… Let's get you inside. I have some sweats you can wear. They might be a bit big but they're dry."

"The recital…"

"Screw it," Kurt said, surprising Blaine. "I need to make sure you're okay. And that you have food in your stomach. Please just let me take care of you." He felt Blaine trembling and held him tighter, scooping him up into his arms sideways. "I'll explain to your dad that you got sick. Don't worry, okay?" Blaine didn't answer, just gritting his teeth in an attempt to stop shivering as Kurt carried him inside.

Kurt took Blaine downstairs to his room and set him down on his bed. He dug through his drawers until he found some navy blue sweatpants and a Dalton Academy Warblers sweatshirt that would fit Blaine. They were from his junior year, so they'd fit him just fine, and he had another pair that he could actually squeeze into, anyway.

"K-K-Kurt…" Blaine stuttered from where he was sitting on the edge of Kurt's bed.

"Shh, it's okay," Kurt said as he sat beside Blaine and gave him the warm clothes. Blaine took them gratefully and walked weakly to the bathroom connected to Kurt's room.

He came out a few minutes later, dressed and cozy with messy curls falling in his face. Kurt looked at him and he didn't think he'd ever seen anyone more beautiful.

_He's so beautiful… He's such a beautiful disaster…_

Kurt thought of the lyrics of the Kelly Clarkson song and smiled a little, watching Blaine. Blaine stood there in the doorway of the bathroom, biting his lip and folding his arms around his middle.

"W-What now?" he asked.

"Now I'm going to make you some food," Kurt told him, smiling softly. "I'll make as much as you'd like, and I'd like for you to try eating as much as you can. You look like you're going to fall over."

"I feel like I might," Blaine said honestly. Kurt nodded and stood up, walking over and wrapping his arm around Blaine's waist to support him as they walked upstairs to the kitchen. Blaine sat at the dining table and watched Kurt find something to cook.

Kurt glanced at Blaine every now and then while he made a casserole in a small dish for two. He hoped he wasn't too obvious, but he couldn't help it. He was so worried about Blaine. Now that he thought about it, Blaine had been pale and close to passing out from the moment they'd met, and he only got worse.

"Here," he said softly as he set a plate of chicken casserole in front of Blaine. "Eat up. You look like the walking dead."

Blaine nodded and started picking at his food. Kurt didn't think he was going to end up eating much, but after a few bites Blaine started stuffing it into his mouth like his life depended on it. And, Kurt thought, it just might if he didn't start taking care of himself soon.

"Thank you," Blaine said once he'd finished, blushing sheepishly as he wiped his messy face on a napkin. "I feel much better…"

"That's good," Kurt smiled, putting a gentle hand on Blaine's shoulder as he sat in the chair next to his. "Are you ready to go or do you want to rest a bit longer?"

"Let's go," Blaine decided after a beat. "I don't want to be in more trouble than I'm already in."

"I told you," Kurt reminded him, standing up and helping Blaine to his feet as well, "I've got it covered. It's all going to be okay, okay?" Blaine smiled slightly and nodded, letting Kurt help him to the car.

Kurt drove the ten minutes it took to get to Blaine's sister's dance recital, and he helped Blaine out of the car. Blaine saw his father standing outside the entrance alone and shrunk down a little, clinging to Kurt's arm to support his weight.

"Blaine, where have you been? The recital is nearly over and your sister is—who is this?" Mr. Anderson asked, looking at Kurt with a confused furrow in his brow.

"I'm Kurt Hummel, sir," Kurt responded politely, holding his hand out for Mr. Anderson to shake once they were close enough. "I'm terribly sorry. It's my fault Blaine is late. We went to get coffee after school and lost track of time, and I was going to drive him here earlier but he wasn't feeling well. Please, sir, don't be angry at him," he finished evenly, staying calm despite the fact that Blaine was shaking beside him. Kurt wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or the hard stare he was getting from his father, but Blaine was shaking terribly.

"You look awful, Blaine," Mr. Anderson observed, finally noticing Blaine's frail figure and defeated expression. "Go ahead and head home and rest," he said, his voice filled with concern for his son. "We'll be home in a half hour, okay?"

Blaine nodded, standing up a little straighter and looking at his dad. "Thank you… I'm sorry for being late—"

"Don't worry," his father said. "Just get some rest, alright? And you're staying home from school tomorrow. I don't want it to get worse."

Blaine smiled a little and nodded before turning around and walking towards his car, hardly noticing it when Kurt caught up to him and helped support his weight.

"That went well," Kurt said once they were in the car.

"Yeah…" Blaine nodded, a little taken aback. Usually his father was so distracted that he barely noticed Blaine, but tonight he had been caring and genuinely concerned. "It went really well," he confirmed.

They sat in silence for about five minutes, Blaine too tired to say anything productive and Kurt unsure of what to say.

"Do you want me to stay with you until your parents get home?" he asked as they pulled into the Anderson residence driveway.

"Yes, please," Blaine nodded.

Kurt helped him out of the car and into the house. He helped him upstairs to his room and Blaine curled up under his covers once he was in bed. "Blaine, I'm worried about you…"

"Don't be," Blaine shook his head, opening his eyes to look at Kurt. "I'm fine. Will you just, ah, hold me?" he asked, a slight smile coming to his face. Kurt was glad to see that he felt better.

"Of course I will." Kurt crawled onto the bed beside Blaine, on top of the covers as he held the boy close.

"I'm sorry I sort of screwed up your day," Blaine said with a sigh. Kurt probably had better things to do all day than take care of someone as pathetic as Blaine. "I'd understand if you never wanted to see me again…" he said, his heart clenching painfully at the thought.

"I told you I'm not going anywhere, Blaine," Kurt said softly, running his fingers through the side of Blaine's messy hair. "I won't leave you alone."

Blaine's breath hitched and he clung to Kurt, looking at him with wide eyes. "K-Kurt… you can't be lying to me. You just can't. Please, I can't bear it. Please tell me you're not lying…"

"Blaine, I won't leave, okay?" Kurt reassured him sincerely, smiling when he saw Blaine relax. "I promise—"

"Don't promise," Blaine said quickly. "Promises don't mean anything. They just make it easier for people to let me down."

"You've got to stop thinking that way," Kurt said gently. "You're just waiting for people to hurt you, and that's no way to live," he told Blaine sadly. "How will you ever be happy if you don't give someone a chance to not hurt you?"

Blaine didn't answer. He just curled in closer to Kurt, sighing.

Kurt rubbed his back until Blaine fell asleep, breathing unevenly as he clung to Kurt. Kurt looked at him sadly, wishing he knew some way to take all of Blaine's pain away.

Just ten minutes later, Mr. Anderson walked in the room and Kurt looked up, a little startled by the sudden entry. "You're still here?" he asked in confusion, studying Kurt.

"Yes, I just wanted to make sure Blaine was okay," he said, sitting up. "I hope that I'm not intruding—"

As soon as Kurt sat up, Blaine woke up with a start. He looked at Kurt with panicked eyes and reached for Kurt's hand, holding it tight. "Where are you going?" he asked.

Kurt smiled sadly. "I have to go home, Blaine. Go back to sleep, okay?"

"N-No," Blaine shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes. "You said you'd never leave…"

"Blaine, this is ridiculous," Mr. Anderson spoke up. "Let the poor boy leave already. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's just the worst fate ever to spend even a day with me," Blaine snapped, tears flowing freely now. He sat up and looked at his dad, shaking his head. "I know that's what you think of me. That I'm an inconvenience. Don't even deny it."

"Kurt, I think you should go," Mr. Anderson said politely, looking at Kurt apologetically. Kurt just frowned in concern at Blaine, standing up.

"Blaine, I'll see you again soon, okay? I'm not leaving forever."

"Kurt, please don't go," Blaine begged, sobbing now and barely able to breathe properly. He was quickly plummeting to the point of a panic attack and Kurt didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he _could _do with Blaine's father standing right there. But Mr. Anderson should be able to handle it, right? "Kurt, please, I don't w-want you to g-go. I'm s-sorry; I'm so sorry. Please don't be a-angry with m-me…"

"I'm not angry," Kurt assured him quickly, glancing at Mr. Anderson who just looked tired and far past wanting to deal with this. "Mr. Anderson, can I have a minute alone to talk with Blaine?"

"Of course," the man nodded, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"Kurt…" Blaine whimpered as he knelt on the bed, sitting on his feet and looking at Kurt. "Please, I n-need you. Don't go."

"You don't need me," Kurt said softly, sitting in front of Blaine on the bed, matching Blaine's position. He put his hands on Blaine's shoulders. "I promise I'll be back here tomorrow morning to take care of you while you're not at school. I told you I won't leave you and I meant that."

Blaine's sobs had subsided to shortened inhaling and shaky out-haling. His breathing was a bit off, but at least he'd calmed down a bit. Kurt moved his hands to cup Blaine's cheeks, smiling softly.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Blaine said, though he wasn't sure why and every part of him was telling him not to. But he wanted to trust Kurt. He wanted to so badly. "I trust you."

"Then believe me when I say I'll be back soon," Kurt murmured gently, kissing Blaine's forehead.

The odd feeling in his stomach was back. But he didn't feel sick anymore. He felt… _excited. _Kurt wasn't leaving him, he was coming back, and he'd just _kissed _him. On the forehead only, but still.

"Okay," Blaine answered softly, smiling a little. He found he was smiling a lot more than usual when he was with Kurt, even if it wasn't his full smile that hadn't been there since he was eight years old.

"I'll see you in the morning, okay? For now just get some rest. You need it."

Blaine nodded and blushed a little down his neck when Kurt grinned at him. That particular smile, when it was directed at him, made Blaine feel so special and warm inside, like he actually meant something to someone. Like someone truly loved him.

"Goodbye, Kurt…"

"Never goodbye," Kurt corrected. "Just goodnight; it's just goodnight."

Blaine smiled a little more, hugging Kurt tightly around his shoulders and not letting go until he heard his father clear his throat at the door.

"It's time for Kurt to leave," he said. Blaine nodded sadly, watching Kurt as he left. "You have got to learn to control yourself and your behavior, Blaine. Today was ridiculous. I called the school and they said you didn't show up to your last three classes. You're getting out of control and I just don't know what to do with you anymore."

"You haven't known what to do with me since mom died," Blaine said. "She always understood me and you don't even try to spend time with me."

"I would if you would clean up your act—!"

"No!" Blaine cried angrily, hurt shining in his eyes. "That's not how it works. Parents are supposed to love their children, unconditionally, no matter what happens. But I guess you never got that memo, did you?'

"Blaine, I'm your _father_," he said.

Blaine rolled his eyes, laughing bitterly. "Right. Like that makes a difference. And notice how you never said _you love me. _You're just stating a fact."

"Blaine—"

"Just get out. Please." Blaine shook his head, crawling under the covers and pulling them over his head. "_Now_," he amended, fresh tears breaking through and falling onto his pillow.

As he fell asleep, he thought about how, in the movies, someone in his position would just be able to call someone to talk to until they felt better. The only person he knew could make him feel better was Kurt, but he had no way of contacting him until Kurt came back to his house the next morning. This wasn't the movies; he didn't just magically have Kurt's number after spending the day with him. Sometimes people just forget to exchange numbers. Or maybe Kurt didn't want to.

Blaine shook his head, clearing that thought from his head. He hated thinking like that, but somehow his mind always went to that place of insecurity and fear. But Kurt wanted him to stop. So he would try. He would try to be happy.

As long as he had Kurt, he felt hopeful that maybe his attempts wouldn't be in vain.

* * *

After a long, sleepless night for Blaine, Kurt returned to the Anderson house as promised. No one was home besides Blaine—his father and stepmom were at work and his sister was at school.

Kurt knocked on the front door and watched as Blaine peeked out cautiously. Soon after, though, Blaine launched himself into a hug and Kurt caught him, holding him tight. The boy looked like he'd been crying. "You came back…" Blaine whispered.

"I promised I would," Kurt replied. Blaine nodded and pulled Kurt inside and up to his room. They sat on the edge of his bed and Blaine stayed silent for a minute before speaking.

"I've been thinking…"

"About?" Kurt prompted gently.

"About you," Blaine admitted, blushing slightly. "About how… _nice _you are to me. And you hardly know me."

"I know enough to know that what you need is someone who understands," Kurt said. "And I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I can relate. And I bet you've spent a long time being alone because no one truly understands you." Blaine nodded. "And you've spent the past ten years shutting people out. But I can't be here for you if you shut me out."

"I don't want to shut you out," Blaine shook his head. "You're the only one who I… trust."

Kurt smiled sadly and put a hand on Blaine's shoulder, scooting closer. "Then let me in. Just know that you can tell me anything and I won't hate you for it or judge you. I just want to help you."

Blaine leaned forward, tears in his eyes, and kissed Kurt. He was shaking, and it only lasted a second before he pulled away, eyes wide and scared. Almost pleading.

Kurt sat there in shock, taking his hand off of Blaine's shoulder and staring at him. "Blaine…"

Blaine's face fell. "I-I'm so sorry… I-I just felt… I don't… Please don't leave me," he finished in a whimper.

"Blaine, it's okay…" Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms, holding the shaking boy close. "Shh… I'm not going anywhere. You just… surprised me; that's all. I'm not upset with you. Blaine, look at me, okay?"

Blaine looked up and barely met Kurt's eyes. "I-I'm sorry… I never told you… I'm gay."

Kurt smiled softly. "I see that. Well, you don't have to worry. I am, too. Just stop panicking, okay? Try, for me."

Blaine nodded and tried to calm his breathing, sitting up and studying Kurt's expression. "Okay. I'm calm."

"Good," Kurt smiled again, taking Blaine's hand. "By the way, you aren't a bad kisser. I just wish I could have made your first kiss a little more… special."

"That wasn't my first kiss…"

"Oh," Kurt bit his lip, feeling dumb. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have assumed…"

"No, Kurt, I _wish _that was my first kiss," Blaine shook his head, trailing off. He drew a shaky breath and looked at Kurt. "C-Can we lie down? And will you hold me? I want to tell you something…"

"Of course," Kurt nodded. They lied down on the pillows on Blaine's bed and Kurt wrapped one arm around Blaine's waist and one around his shoulders as Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder. "What's bothering you?"

"I was fifteen. I went to this school dance and I was all dressed up and ready to have a night where I could actually smile and not think about my mom. And I went with my brother's friend, the only other gay guy at school. And he was two years older than me, a senior, so I was excited that he wanted to go with me. We had a fun night and we danced, but after the dance he offered to take me home. And I was young and stupid, so I let him get me in his car. He pushed me into the backseat and he was just… all over me…" Blaine closed his eyes tightly, trying to fight tears.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt murmured. "Blaine… honey, that doesn't count. You don't have to count it if you don't want to, and you didn't want it."

"I wanted it to be special, you know?" Blaine opened his eyes a little, looking up at Kurt. "I wanted my first time to be with someone I love."

Kurt frowned. "He was your first time?"

Blaine nodded, shuddering a little at the thought. "I-I didn't want it… I've never told anyone before because I was so scared. But the next day when I went back to school, everyone could just tell. I don't know if it was because he told people and word got out or because I was limping. But then people started calling me… slut, and other names. And I was still so scared so I went along with it and that's when I joined the 'Skanks.'"

"The skanks?"

"They're kind of the McKinley High screw-up club," Blaine joked bitterly. "Perfect fit, I guess."

"You're not a screw-up."

"Then what the hell am I? I'm not perfect like you."

"Blaine, stop," Kurt said softly. "Please. Don't do this to yourself…"

"Everyone thinks I'm a slut and it's too late to change their minds. The only one who knows the truth now besides you is Quinn. But nobody would believe her if she said anything because she got pregnant sophomore year."

"Blaine…" Kurt sighed. "Will you please just listen to me? They don't know what they're talking about because they don't have the slightest clue about who you are. But I do. And I know that you're a _good person_. You are," he added when Blaine shook his head. "I wouldn't be here if you weren't."

"Then just leave," Blaine muttered. He hated the words as soon as they escaped him but he couldn't stop now. "I don't need you here."

"Blaine, please don't this," Kurt murmured, stroking through Blaine's hair with his fingers.

Blaine shook his head and pushed Kurt away from him, wrapping his arms around himself and trying as hard as he could to fight his tears. "Please leave, Kurt." Kurt reached out to touch his arm and Blaine flinched back, jumping out of the bed and pointing to the door. "Now! I said I don't need you, so why can't you just leave?" he shouted angrily, though his tears betrayed the faux anger in his voice.

"Blaine, we both know that's not true," Kurt said gently, standing up and moving forward until he was standing in front of Blaine. "You said so yourself last night that you want me here, and I know you meant it."

"No!" Blaine shouted again, shaking his head even as he let Kurt pull him into a hug. "No… No, I don't need you!" he sobbed into Kurt's shirt, clinging to Kurt like he never wanted to let go. "I don't need you," he sobbed over and over again, though he knew that the opposite was true. He just didn't want to admit it to Kurt or to himself.

"It's alright," Kurt soothed, rubbing Blaine's back while he cried. "I know you don't mean it. I know."

"I hate you." _I love you. _"I don't need you." _I need you so bad it hurts. _Blaine cried louder in frustration. He couldn't even make himself say the words he really meant. Terrible, hateful, false words kept tumbling out of his mouth without warrant. "Please don't leave me…" he whispered. _I finally got something right. _

"I won't. I promise. How does breakfast sound? Then we can watch a movie together, okay?"

Blaine nodded, trying in vain to stop his cries. Knowing that Blaine wouldn't be walking anywhere, Kurt scooped him up and carried him sideways down to the living room. Blaine curled up on the couch with a blanket and pillow, slowly calming down while Kurt made toast and eggs.

"K-Kurt?" he called from the couch, his voice raspy and cracking from all the crying. His cries had dulled to occasional sniffles and whimpers, all because Kurt knew just how to calm him down after a panic attack.

"Yeah?"

"After we eat, will you hold me?"

Kurt smiled, standing behind the couch and reaching over to stroke Blaine's curls gently. "Of course. You don't need to keep asking."

"Thank you," Blaine smiled a little. While Kurt cooked, Blaine tried to relax on the couch. He felt a little pathetic like this, but he knew that he was always extra vulnerable and sensitive after a visit to his mom's grave. It usually lasted for a week or so, depending on the reason for the visit. He supposed it was a good thing he'd met Kurt when he did, because any other time he never would have opened up to Kurt as much as he had. But he was more emotionally unstable than usual, so he kind of needed Kurt. And maybe, if Kurt ended up staying around long enough, Blaine would find out that he needed him all the time; not just when he fell apart.

A few minutes later, Kurt sat down on the couch next to Blaine and Blaine sat up to eat his breakfast. They ate in silence while Blaine leaned on Kurt's shoulder, slowly managing to keep his food down in his empty stomach. He'd thrown up and dry heaved nearly the entire night before, so there was nothing left in his stomach. He was grateful for the food Kurt made for him, but he still felt a bit queasy. "What movie do you want to watch?" Kurt asked a few minutes later, startling Blaine out of his thoughts.

"Oh," Blaine whispered, looking at Kurt. "Uh, anything you want is fine."

"How about '_The_ _Little_ _Mermaid_?'" Kurt smiled patiently at Blaine after setting his dish aside on the coffee table.

"You like Disney?"

"Who doesn't?" Kurt laughed, kissing Blaine's hair before getting up to put the movie on. He had it on his iPod so he could play it through the aux cables. Once he was done setting it up and starting the movie, he returned to his spot next to Blaine.

Blaine put his head on Kurt's knee while Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's hair. The action soothed Blaine more than he expected and he wished Kurt would do that more often.

"Kurt…" Blaine looked up at Kurt at the same time Kurt looked at him with an attentive smile. "Can I… uh, kiss you again?"

Kurt's eyes widened a little in surprise, but he nodded, still stroking Blaine's hair.

Blaine sat up slowly and knelt in front of Kurt on the couch, sitting on his feet. He reached out a shaky hand and cupped Kurt's jaw in his palm, smiling when Kurt nuzzled into the touch slightly. Strengthened by Kurt's willingness, he leaned forward and kissed Kurt's lips.

It was a little off-center and Blaine had no idea what he was doing, but none of that mattered. Kurt held him close and kissed back slowly, not pushing Blaine to do more. He pressed his fingertips into the dip at the small of Blaine's back, tender and feather-light touches that made Blaine's heart speed up.

While Kurt was doing all of this, all Blaine could think about was how he'd never felt so loved and cared for in his life. Not since his mom died, at least. Kurt made him feel warm, loved, safe, and so, so special without hardly trying. And, Blaine thought, Kurt was exactly what he needed in his life. He needed Kurt.

Only once they needed to, they broke apart for air. Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's and pecked his lips lightly once more before breaking into a dazed grin. "Blaine, you're amazing."

Blaine blushed fiercely, biting his lip to fight his own grin. "You're incredible, Kurt. You make me feel so…" …_happy, radiant, loved, special, hopeful… _"…safe," he finished.

Kurt smiled softly, then, and kissed Blaine sweetly. "What would you say if I asked you to accompany at my usual coffee shop?"

"On a date..?" Blaine asked uncertainly.

"Yes, on a date, silly," Kurt giggled. "Well?"

"Yes," Blaine blurted, his heart fluttering happily in his chest. He couldn't believe how easily Kurt had an effect on him after just one kiss—and just one _day_, at that.

"Great." Kurt smiled and ran his fingertips up Blaine's spine from where they'd been resting on his lower back. Blaine shivered pleasantly and clung to Kurt for a moment before letting him get up to turn off the movie. Neither of them had paid it any attention, to be honest.

"We're going on a date," Blaine murmured happily—_happily_—as he watched Kurt. They grabbed their coats and went outside to Blaine's car.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, their date :) **

**PLEASE READ—**

**This chapter was a mix of happy and sad, but I hope you liked it. I've got plenty ideas for this fic, so let me know if you want it to keep going. Also, if you have any ideas for what their date should be, PLEASE let me know. I love to hear your ideas and also, I'm terrible at thinking of unique dates. **


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